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Thread: The Deadly Sins of Middle Seatmates


  1. #1
    Administrator Migflanker's Avatar
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    The Deadly Sins of Middle Seatmates These are pretty bad, but I have to say, I've suffered through worst, (maybe I'm a magnet for crazy types ) what about you?

    My "interesting" list of seatmates.


    1. Life of the Party - A bachelor party to Vegas, need I say more. "Party over here!"

    2. Barefoot Boy - I was seated in the middle seat, next to a guy who thought the bulkhead wall was the perfect place to rest his yellow toe-nailed feet. ( and yes it was as bad as you think)

    3. Harmonic Convergence - I was seated two rows ahead of a little girl who sang, loud and proud, the "ABC alphabet song" over and over and over and over again, until she got it letter P-E-R-F-E-C-T! "-X-Y-& Z, now I know my A - B - C's!"

    4. Typing/Texting twit - A little boy directly behind me playing a hand-held electronic game.
    And yes noise cancelling headphones do have a limit.

    5. Outbreak - My seatmate looked and sounded terrible. She was sick and wanted me to know just how horrible she felt. (Trust me, this woman felt reallllly-realllly bad.)

    6. Tray table fetish - Down, up, down, up......dowwwwn........up, down, up, down, up - wait 15 minutes and repeat.

    7. 'Let's eat' - I was in the middle seat crunched between a "sumo wrestling tag team". Because the flight was delayed the in-flight drink service was started on the ground, down came the tray tables and out came the sandwiches, they were growing boys. *crunch, crunch, crunch!*

    So let's hear your stories.
    Keep'em Flying

    Migflanker - Senior NonRev Correspondent - Los Angeles


  • #2
    Super Moderator nonrev1's Avatar
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    I was flying on DL business coming through DFW and between there and ATL this really huge guy sat next to me. He had the window and I had the middle seat. I guess he just couldn't take it any more and on the approach to ATL, he lifted up his arm rest and his fat literally fell out on me. Yeah, it was really gross.
    Chris Bagley (Nonrev Network Founder)

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    The middle seat sux galore. It's the pits. Even worse, is the window seat with two others you have to negotiate with to get through to use the lav. Doing many hours on these flights is murder. Worst case I had was getting pounded by a Chinese old man as he kept kicking the hell out of my seat. I had to turn around a few times and stare him down like I was going to knock him on his butt. He was awful and rude. Another time I had to sit in the back in the smoking section of a NWA flight to NRT from Seattle but I was just happy to get a seat so I didn't mind smoking other peoples smoke as the Japanese dudes surrounded me with lit cigarrettes. I was going home to Saipan to my babe so I was happy. Probably full of emphazyma but nonetheless, happy to be home on Saipan after being away from the wife for ten days. I bet I took the last nonrev seat too. They told me at the counter that it was full and I wasn't going to get on. Then, at the last minute as I was contemplating my options, the guy escorted me to the back of the 747 smack in between all the smokers. But it was a "HAPPY SMOKE" nonetheless because I got on. Once I made that leg to Japan, I knew I was home free to Guam/Saipan. I had to jump seat to Guam on our DC-10. The other jump seat was taken by a co-worker I ran into in NRT that had time on me, but there were 2 JUMPSEATS and I got one of them. It was loaded. I made it home with no seat to spare. That's a roughin it nonrever if I ever saw one.

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    Here is a neat story. I was working through flights on the gates in Saipan. A plane come in from NRT full of Japanese tourist. The pilot calls me in the cockpit and tells me this. "There is a Japanese customer I want to kick off the plane for smacking one of my flight attendants in the face. She accidentally spilled a drink on him and he slapped her hard. I don't want this jerk on my plane. I called the police. I want you to stand around in case things get freaky." Ok, so I hung around. I was outside the door of the plane on the jet way when the CHAMORRO cops showed up. One was a small little twerp looking guy, the other was a typical 300 pound fat Chamorro dude. They called the Japanese guy out and the Japanese guy was told to get off the plane. The Japanese guy refused as he lit up a cigarrette. Then the little twerp cop commences to man handle the Japanese dude and the Japanese dude begins to put up resistance. The little twerp couldn't really get the job done. Then comes the large Chamorro? Well HOMEY DON'T PLAY, so he slams the Japanese dude down on a take down and hand cuffs the Japanese dude after a brief struggle. I was just standing there making sure Japanese homey didn't go after the cops guns. All the mean time this Japanese guy is yelling and screaming and his wife is all hysterical at this point. His blood pressure must have gone through the roof because by then, the guy started to bleed from an open cut he got on his head in the scuffle, and perhaps his emotions shut him down because he just sat in the jetway feeling all drousy and like he was having some heart attack along with a nervous breakdown and his wife all hysterical. I kind of felt sorry for the poor lady. Here she is in Saipan, waiting to go to Guam as the plane fuels, and her husband gets kicked off the plane in brutal fashion. Then the ambulance came, took them both away and I just said "WOW MAN." Just WOW. I don't know what became of the couple, but I'm sure he wished he didn't slap the poor flight attendant for spilling a drink on him.

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    Administrator Migflanker's Avatar
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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (29Palms @ Aug 23 2008, 02:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
    The middle seat sux galore. It&#39;s the pits. Even worse, is the window seat with two others you have to negotiate with to get through to use the lav. Doing many hours on these flights is murder. Worst case I had was getting pounded by a Chinese old man as he kept kicking the hell out of my seat. I had to turn around a few times and stare him down like I was going to knock him on his butt. .....[/b]
    My e-mail notification
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    The middle seat sux galore. It&#39;s the pits. Even worse, is the window seat with two others you have to negotiate with to get through to use the lav. Doing many hours on these flights is murder. Bar none.

    Palms, you edited your post!

    Your story reminds me of an incident that happened to me at 38,000ft. I was in first, (back in day when AA served a caviar entree and a curtain separated the classes) all of a sudden we heard a commotion in the back. It seems a woman had suffered a panic attack and was trying to open the door. There was a lot of yelling, then the sound of a loud slap followed by stunned silence. Next, something happened that today would be considered extraordinary, the pax apologized; she apologized to the FA&#39;s, the people she climbed over, everybody on the plane. Later the captain went back and she apologized to him too. Today I think she would have screamed bloody murder, threaten a lawsuit and we would have heard the captain announcing we were diverting to the nearest airport; times have changed, I miss my caviar.

    Edited post: Because while I knew what I wanted to say, nobody else would&#39;ve had a clue.
    Keep'em Flying

    Migflanker - Senior NonRev Correspondent - Los Angeles

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    Yes, I edit postings on occassion. Sometimes I type and then go to work, and when I come back, I fix mistakes or add to the story. So it pays to revisit some of my postings. Sorry about "Ticket counter lady". I should edit that one, but you must give me the correct name for that position. What is it PASSENGER SERVICE?

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    I think the worst absolute nightmare for traveling in the middle seats is if you had to seat on either side of this guy. You can see a picture of him in this channel. Be careful. This man has no cuthe or respect to the way he talks. But this would be the absolute nightmare travelling next to. I would have to elbow him good.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLdkz6HYBGg...feature=related

  • #8
    NonRev Correspondent vulindlela's Avatar
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    My worst were:

    SAN-JFK on B6
    It was a 6 hour flight and I was stuck in the middle of two guys who talked all night long. I asked them if they wanted to switch seats to be next to each other but surprisingly, they wouldn&#39;t.

    SFO-LHR on VS
    My wife and I had the two middle seats of the middle section of four. Longest flight of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Vulindlela - Senior NonRev Correspondent - Indianapolis


  • #9
    Administrator Migflanker's Avatar
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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (29Palms @ Aug 24 2008, 01:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
    Sorry about "Ticket counter lady". I should edit that one, but you must give me the correct name for that position. What is it PASSENGER SERVICE?[/b]
    I&#39;m thinking customer service rep, should keep you out of trouble.
    Keep'em Flying

    Migflanker - Senior NonRev Correspondent - Los Angeles

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