Thread: On The Trail on the Jackalope- Not exactly a Trip Report

Captain, I think I’ll have that drink now

I first heard about the jackalope from DB, yeah my friend DB the health nut that eats kale for breakfast, lunch and dinner and who once convinced me that sautéed kale would make a love-ly side dish; trust me, sautéed kale (even with onions & peppers) tastes only slightly less awful than raw kale .

So DB and I are standing near this huge cactus, around it are some smaller cacti, what looks to be a ton of crushed gravel and some arranged river rocks. I think the river rocks are suppose to create the illusion of flowing water - they don‘t, believe me this yard looks like just what it is - a yard with a couple of cactus and a whole lot of rocks.
Anyway DB is telling me how they’re having trouble with javelinas (think small hairy wild pigs) and had to sprinkle coyote urine around the yard as a deterrent- oh the problems of a desert landscaping. So we’re talking about javelinas and coyote urine and DB offhandedly mentions jackalopes…“What are jackalopes?” DB bolts into the house and comes back with at couple of jackalope postcards. I have to say the jackalope is one strange looking animal - a jackrabbit with huge deer antlers; and my first thought, OK maybe my second, was that these were some really clear photos, which is really surprising since mythical creatures don’t usually photograph well. Take the Yeti and Big Foot, thousands of photos/videos and every single image is blurry and out of focus.
In fact if you ask me the images all look like a guy in a bear suit. So yeah, right out of the box I was suspicious of his tale - evolutionary genetics aside, a whiskey loving jackrabbit with antlers that can mimic the human voice and loves county music is a little hard to swallow.
In fact I would think you’d have to swallow a whole bottle of Jack Daniels before you’d even see a jackalope.

“A victim of laughing chance”

DB painted this picture of a relaxing “spin” through a saguaro cactus trail, it sounded like fun.
When we got to the park DB was already there in full cycling spandex regalia, he looked like Team Tour de France come to life. We on the other hand were dressed for a social ride - no spandex and we all had a backpack and lunch.
So DB tells us about the trail and assures us the grade is not too steep, trust me when I say pedaling up and down hills hadn‘t even crossed my mind.
Anyway ‘Team Mig’ set out and almost immediately there were…gaps….in…our…line- so much for a fun group activity.
So there I was bicycling “solo” though the desert on a borrowed bike and wearing a helmet that looked like the creature from Alien has just attached itself to my head - “in space no one can hear you scream” and thank goodness for that.
--And I’m pedaling, a nice easy cadence, and I’m enjoying the fresh air and the meditative peace, when this song just pops in my head - actually it wasn’t the whole song, just part of the chorus
“Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
*humming*
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues”
Now that’s a depressing song; but then again a lot of Steely Dan is….. depressing.
Anyway I had this depressing song stuck in my head couldn’t get it out and then………..


“Do you remember
The 21st night of September?
Ba de ya de ya de ya
Ba de ya de ya de ya
Ba de ya da ya de ya -de ya………never a cloudy day


Oh yeah, Earth, Wind & Fire trumps Steely Dan and I pedaled faster.
De-yaaaaaa…………..”
http://youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk

Will It Go Round In Circles?

I’m one of the last to arrive at the picnic area, (I packed a big lunch) besides this was supposed to be a leisurely sightseeing ride, not a race to a picnic table.
So RJ had collapsed on a bench, Sgt was wolfing down a sandwich and the rest of
‘Team Mig’ were off taking photos - uh-huh one can never have too many photos of cactus and desert.
And what of DB? Well he decided to do the entire loop, which meant he came in maybe five minute after me - he was “officially” the last one in.
So we’re talking about cycling stuff, sprinkled with talk of cramping muscles and G comes strolling in and says he thinks he saw a jackalope (sun and a tight helmet are a deadly mix)
But truth be told, if anyone is going to open a door to another dimension, fall down the rabbit hole or run into a strange/bizarre/weird creature, it would be G. He’s just one of those people that bizarre things just seem to happen too.
Trust me, if Martians were to ever land in Tucson, they would land squarely on G‘s “welcome mat”.
Anyway according to G, a jackalope was sitting by the side of the road not doing much of anything, it waved and G waved back…uh-huh, this is who I’m traveling with, one of my D3’s
I’ve got to tell you I blame this entire thing - Steely Dan popping into my head, jackalopes hopping all over the desert, on DB. Who right before we hit the road told us to kept a eye out for jackalopes, seems they like to sit by the side of the road and yell “hey you I’m over here” to tourists. And how do jackalopes know which cyclists are tourists - they’re the ones with the backpacks.
Yeah that DB is a very funny guy.