dumb questions

WHY SOME AMERICANS SHOULD NEVER BE LET OUT THE COUNTRY

(Actual comments from US travel agents)

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so their hair wouldn't get messed up

from being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the

cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the

train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain

the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me

with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in

Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly

explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her

response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong

with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I

tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin

state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from

Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled

up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked

him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport,

and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her

flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried

to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not

understand. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought

that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your

bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you

ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on

my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After

putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it" (I was actually

laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that

the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to

get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told

my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on

them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer

planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She

said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in

order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded

him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never

had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required

a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and

every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations; "I want to go from Chicago to

Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the

agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do

you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back

with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and

can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be

silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map

of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

"That's it! I knew it was a big animal

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