Health Question and Answer Session
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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste then on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer???? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay amd corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken! Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral and vegetable. We all know beer and wine are not animal, and they certainly aren't on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right?
My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.
My philosophy: No pain....Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for your?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!! Foods are fried today in veg-e-ta-ble oil.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for your?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO...Cocoa beans...another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me?[/list]
Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Have a cookie...flour is a vegetable!!!! http://www.nonrev.net/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
http://www.nonrev.net/infopop/emotic...on_biggrin.gif http://www.nonrev.net/infopop/emotic...on_biggrin.gif
Keep'em flying
