Aviation Humor

Logbook entries
P - The problem logged by the pilot.
S - The solution logged by the AMT

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

(P) Noise behind left panel. Sounds like a little man with hammer.
(S) Took hammer from little man.

(P) Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed radar with lyrics.

(P) Captain's seat feels exceptionally hard.
(S) Sat in seat for eight hours, seat fine.

(P) Brakes howl on application
(s) Don't step on'em so hard!

(P) Mouse seen in first class
(S) Removed mouse to coach.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

(P) Radio sounds like a squealing pig
(S) Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow.

:D:D:D

#3 engine missing.
-#3 engine found after brief search of right wing

One from Readers Digest "Humor in Uniform", some time in the mid '90s:

One sunny Saturday at MCAS El Toro, a young enlisted Marine was working in the cockpit of a fighter aircraft. His head was near the seat and his legs were hanging outside. As the base commander walked by he called out "What are you working on Marine?" The instant response from the cockpit was "The weekend, sir".

Two real life ones from my time at VMGR-252.

#1
Pilot wrote: Flight controls hard to move.
Sign-off was: Squadron gym located in Power Line shack.

He got reprimanded, but being Marines, I always thought it was an excellent response.

#2 really needs pics for the full effect, but I'll do my best to describe it.
Write up: Nose wheel steering knob is here (little drawing with the wheel showing the knob off center) should be here (little drawing with knob centered)
Sign-off: (two little drawings in reverse order) Moved NWS knob from here() to here().

Both hung in Maintenance Control for a long time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jbear

#2 really needs pics for the full effect, but I'll do my best to describe it.
Write up: Nose wheel steering knob is here (little drawing with the wheel showing the knob off center) should be here (little drawing with knob centered)
Sign-off: (two little drawings in reverse order) Moved NWS knob from here() to here().

Both hung in Maintenance Control for a long time.

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http://bestsmileys.com/lol/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/lol/6.gif very good

A few signature/tag lines you might like.

"Airplanes fixed while you wait."
"If it’s in the air, maintenance put it there."