Thanksgiving Touch Football Rules

The Official Rules of Thanksgiving Touch Football
A few pointers to remember


1. Find a nice patch of grass. It doesn’t have to be big. You don’t need a regulation 100 yards. Half the people in your family, if they ran 100 yards, they’d wind up in the hospital anyway.

2. The game must be played before dinner. Trust me, nobody wants to “go long” after eating their weight in turkey.


3. All family on the field. Everybody plays, mom, dad, grandma, kids, even the dog.
And no excuses, tight hamstrings, recent knee surgery, “I’m three”, you’re playing and you’re playing the whole game.


4. End Zone Markers - Anything you want, but I can tell you, coats/jackets, flowerpots and saguaro cactus, don’t work well.


5. If someone, oh lets say has traveled 488.9 miles to get to your house for Thanksgiving, wants to play quarterback, they will be quarterback, no matter who played some college ball back in the day and thinks they can still throw a perfect spiral.

6. No diagramming of elaborate plays on your hand, half your team won’t understand it anyway. “You Turn At The Tree/Cactus“, “Everybody Go Out, Everybody Go Deep/“Jailbreak” are plays everybody can understand.


7. Two completions is a first down. It’s as simple as that, there is no debate.


8. Technically there’s no such thing as “offsides” in Thanksgiving touch football, it’s called a “AARP head start”. :cool:


9. No punting. Punts break more windows and hit more cars than any other play in touch football. Once bitten, twice shy -there will be no punting!


10. Cheating - No doubt about it, cheating is part of the Thanksgiving touch football game- expect it, refine it. Trust me, nobody wants to tackle little 3 year old K, she’s so cute running all around - easy six points. :cool:

And last but not least, wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.