Wow, that doesn't sound good. Gate agents have the power to do pretty much what they want with non-rev seating on the flight. I can only recommend one thing - don't check on what happened! This will save you a lot of aggravation in the future. What you don't know won't hurt you I know it sounds harsh but you would be better off just keeping track of your own travel and letting the rest go because it can only cause friction. I have learned from working in rez to never check on something later because I only got frustrated with my fellow employees.

Is it fair? No. Does it happen? Yes and, unfortunately, there is nothing to be done about the whole friends and family thing unless it is a serious violation of the rules. You should try nonrevving out of BRW or DUT. If you don't know someone, you can be stuck for days.