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A few aviation quotes-humor I know it's short but I'm working on it.http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/biggles.gif
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If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter air shows?
-Anon
Motor cut. Forced landing. Hit cow. Cow died. Scared me.
-Dean Smith (air mail pilot), his account of the accident as telegraphed to his chief-quoted by Amelia Earhart (1932)
It's never to dark to look cool"
-Answer given by pilot when asked why he was wearing sunglasses while strolling through LAX parking lot at midnight. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]
Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle. It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
-Capt. Rex Kramer (Robert Stack) in the movie 'Airplane' (1980)
Anybody can jump a motorcycle. The trouble begins when you try to land it.
-Evel Knievel
There's nothing like an airport for bringing you down to earth.
-Richard Gordon
Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
-Johnny Carson (1974)
Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.
-...Superman costume warning label
Flight Reservations Systems decide whether or not you exist. If your information isn't in their database, then you simply don't get to go anywhere.
-Arthur Miller
I'm from the FAA, and I'm here to help you.
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever
-Anon[/list]
Keep'em flying
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http://www.nonrev.net/correspondents...migflanker.jpg
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Hope this finds you doing well; interesting commentary on which we find our humor these days......here goes!
This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas
>Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor.
>
>
>The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made
>the web department take it down immediately
>(for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too...)
>
>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
>In order to protect your new investment, please
>take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card
>below. Answering the survey questions is not required,
>but the information will help us to develop new products that
>best meet your needs and desires.
>
>>>>1.
>>>>[_] Mr.
>>>>[_] Mrs.
>>>>[_] Ms.
>>>>[_] Miss
>>>>[_] Lt.
>>>>[_] Gen.
>>>>[_] Comrade
>>>>[_] Classified
>>>>[_] Other
>>>>First Name: ............................................
>>>>Initial: ........
>>>>Last Name:............................................. .
>>>>Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
>>>>Code Name:............................................. .
>>>>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........
>>>>
>>>>2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>>>>[_] F-14 Tomcat
>>>>[_] F-15 Eagle
>>>>[_] F-16 Falcon
>>>>[_] F-117A Stealth
>>>>[_] Classified
>>>>
>>>>3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20......./......./......
>>>>
>>>>4. Serial Number:........................................
>>>>
>>>>5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>>>>[_] Received as gift / aid package
>>>>[_] Catalogue / showroom
>>>>[_] Independent arms broker
>>>>[_] Mail order
>>>>[_] Discount store
>>>>[_] Government surplus
>>>>[_] Classified
>>>>
>>>>6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
>>>>Douglas product you have just purchased:
>>>>[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>>>>[_] Store display
>>>>[_] Espionage
>>>>[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>>>>[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>>>>[_] Was attacked by one
>>>>
>>>>7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
>>>>influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas
>>>>product:
>>>>[_] Style / appearance
>>>>[_] Speed / maneuverability
>>>>[_] Price / value
>>>>[_] Comfort / convenience
>>>>[_] Kickback / bribe
>>>>[_] Recommended by salesperson
>>>>[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>>>>[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>>>>[_] Backroom politics
>>>>[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>>>>
>>>>8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product
>>>>will be used:
>>>>[_] North America
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Aircraft carrier
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Europe
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Africa
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>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Misc. Third World countries
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>[_] Classified
>>>>[_] Iraq
>>>>
>>>>9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend
>>>>to purchase in the near future:
>>
>>>>[_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite [_] CD
>>>>Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles [_] Space Shuttle
>>>>{Home Computer [_] Nuclear Weapon
>>>>
>>>>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
>>>>(Indicate all that apply:)
>>>>[_] Communist / Socialist
>>>>[_] Terrorist
>>>>[_] Crazed
>>>>[_] Neutral
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>>>>[_] Dictatorship
>>>>[_] Corrupt
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>>>>
>>>>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>>>>[_] Deficit spending
>>>>[_] Cash
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>>>>[_] Oil revenues
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>>>>[_] Credit card
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>>>>
>>>>12. Your occupation:
>>>>[_] Homemaker
>>>>[_] Sales / marketing
>>>>[_] Revolutionary
>>>>[_] Clerical
>>>>[_] Mercenary
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>>>>[_] Middle management
>>>>[_] Eccentric billionaire
>>>>[_] Defense Minister / General
>>>>[_] Retired
>>>>[_] Student
>>>>
>>>>13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate
>>>>the interests and activities in which you and
>>>>your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
>>>>[_] Golf
>>>>[_] Boating / sailing
>>>>[_] Sabotage
>>>>[_] Running / jogging
>>>>[_] Propaganda / misinformation
>>>>[_] Destabilization / overthrow
>>>>[_] Default on loans
>>>>[_] Gardening
>>>>[_] Crafts
>>>>[_] Black market / smuggling
>>>>[_] Collectibles / collections
>>>>[_] Watching sports on TV
>>>>[_] Wines
>>>>[_] Interrogation / torture
>>>>[_] Household pets
>>>>[_] Crushing rebellions
>>>>[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>>>>[_] Fashion clothing
>>>>[_] Border disputes
>>>>[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>>>>
>>>>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
>>>>Your answers will be used in market studies that will help
>>>>McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the
>>>>future - as well as allowing you to
>>>>receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
>>>>governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
>>>>
>>>>As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered
>>>>to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>>>>
>>>>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
>>>>Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
>>>>Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
>>>>
>>>>IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
>>>>addressee(s) named above and may contain
>>>>information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for
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>>>>irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has
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>>>>than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical
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>>>>harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie
>>>>next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
>>>>
>>>>Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
>>>>gratified to learn that there is no hidden message
>>
>>>>revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that
>>>>Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a
>>>>complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you
>>>>can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
>>>>If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg
>>>>and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm
>>>>oven for 40 minutes.
