Well it's that time again, your Fright Night Survival Guide

1. Donít investigate anything! Donít go into any room where the light switch doesnít work. Donít check out creepy noises outside Ė like a dogís yelp cut off mid bark or rustling in the bushes outside your window. Donít go into abandoned amusement parks, deserted carnivals, or go searching for the origin of the mysterious lights in the woods. If what youíre curious about canít be found on the web forget it. Remember curiosity killed the cat, itís owner, the mailman and anybody else that came to find out what was going on. Some things you just donít need to know.

2. Stay away from stairs. Donít go upstairs, downstairs, donít look under the stairs and you probably shouldnít look under the bed either.

3. Stay away from small enclosed spaces Ė attics, closets, showers, bedrooms with windows that are impossible to open and rooms with thin doors that are easy for clawed/ax-wielding hands to break through. It should also be noted one should probably avoid backing into, or through rooms.

4. Under no circumstances go trick or treating in any of the following locations, Amityville, the Bermuda Triangle, Derry Maine, or the nearby abandoned house with the overgrown yard and 23 old rusted pickup trucks out front.

5. Donít open any box, chest, coffin, crate, jar, or anything that has been chained, nailed, welded or wax-sealed shut----especially if itís been well hidden for a really, really, really, long time.

6. Ignore clowns in sewers and you probably should avoid barns, cornfields and wax museums too.

7. Wear comfortable/sensible shoes. You definitely donít want to trip and fall on Halloween, because if you fall, youíre going to be left behind and zombies (yeah zombies) will take advantage and all your candy is gone. So forgo the Halloween fashion statement, wear comfortable/sensible shoes Ė preferably oneís without laces.

8. If for some reason you find yourself in a hospital where only one person seems to be working and most of the patient rooms are empty, better check yourself out and take your chances on the street with a box of band-aids and a bottle of aspirin. Trust me, that hospital just isnít safe.

9. Keep your cellphone charged, although it probably wonít make a difference Ė where youíre going is a definite cell phone dead zone.
AND
10. Service your car, trust me on Halloween you'll definitely want your car to start right up.

Happy Halloween