Thread: Fright Night Survival Guide

Yes, it’s that time again, safety tips to keep you safe this Halloween.


Under no circumstances go trick or treating in any of the following locations:
Amityville, Transylvania, anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, Louisiana swamps, the Maryland countryside or any small town in Maine.

If on Halloween. by some unfortunate circumstance, you find yourself strolling through a cemetery, please, please, do not call out asking is anyone there. Trust me, the dead won’t answer and the noise just makes you that much easier to find.

Wear sensible shoes. You gotta know by now that most monsters are long distance runners and zombies while slow (except for the ones in World War Z) take advantage of those that fall; so forgo the 4 inch heels (and yes M7 I’m talking to you) it’s only for one day.

If you hear a strange noise coming from upstairs that sounds similar to, oh let’s say a severed head falling to the floor; or maybe you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid bark, don’t investigate. In fact remove the word “investigate from your vocabulary on Halloween. If what you’re curious about can’t be googled just forget it . Remember curiosity killed the cat, it’s owner, the mailman and anybody else that came to find out what was going on. Some things you just don’t want to know.

At all costs avoid unusual large seed pods
(Listen to me MRSDS1Donna!)

And I don’t care if lucky charms are magically delicious, steer clear of leprechauns.

Check the backseat before entering your vehicle
(The last thing you need is to have to fight off a zombie while trying to merge on the freeway.) Spongebue I’m talking to you.

News bulletins. Listen to the news. Trust me, if someone has escaped from the local prison/mental institution you’ll want to listen to that report.

Don’t go in the basement, especially if the power goes out.
(D2 just put off washing clothes one more day)

Turn off the TV (and run) if a girl crawls out of it.
(Palms I‘m telling you, this is by far your best option)

And you’ll want to run and keep running if you hear any of the following phrases:
“Hereeee’s Johnny”
“I see dead people”
“It’s just the cat.”
“Try to get some sleep”
“I think we killed, him/them/it”
“GET OUT!”

And finally
I don’t care what the trick or treat candy app on your phone says - you want to avoid wax museums at all costs.
(and yes isppilot I’m talking to you)


Now go out and have fun.