1. Save the whales; collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like.....night.

3 .On the other hand,you have different fingers.

4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you meet are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is only anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (there is something VERY telling about that one--just not sure what...)

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except for vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a few payments.

13.How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14.OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. Everyone has a photographic memory.Some just don't have film.

18 .How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

19. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

20. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

21. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder.

22. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

23. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

24. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would fall off.

25. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

26. Life isn't like a box of chocolates....
it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.