Thanksgiving is next week and that meets another chance to play some touch football with your family and friends. So once again:

The Official Rules of Thanksgiving Family Touch Football

1. The game must be played outside - and you don't need a regulation 100 yards (Half the people in your family can't run 100 yards anyway) *smile*

2. The game must be played before dinner. Trust me, nobody wants to “go long” after eating their weight in turkey.

3. All family on the field. Everybody plays, mom, dad, grandma, kids, even the dog.
And no excuses, tight hamstrings, recent knee surgery, “I’m only three”, you play and you’re play the whole game.

4. End Zone Markers - Anything you want, but I can tell you, coats/jackets, flowerpots and saguaro cactus, don’t work well.

5. If someone, oh lets say has traveled 488.9 miles (8+hours on the road) to get to your house for Thanksgiving, wants to play quarterback - they will be quarterback, no matter who played some college ball back in the day and thinks they can still throw a perfect spiral.

6. No diagramming of elaborate plays on your hand, half your team won’t understand it anyway. “You Turn At The Cactus/Tree“, “Everybody Go Out, Everybody Go Deep/“Jailbreak” are plays everybody can understand.

7. Two completions is a first down. It’s as simple as that, there is no debate.

8. Technically there’s no such thing as “offsides” in Thanksgiving touch football, it’s called a “AARP head start”.


9. No punting. Punts have broken more windows and hit more cars than any other play in touch football. Once bitten, twice shy -there will be no punting!

10. Cheating - No doubt about it, cheating is part of the Thanksgiving family touch football game experience - expect it, refine it. Trust me, nobody wants to tackle little 3 year old K, she’s so cute running all around - easy six points.


Happy Thanksgiving