Thread: Tips For Surviving Halloween

Surviving Halloween 2021

A collection of helpful tips to help you protect yourself this Halloween

1. Don’t be curious. Don’t investigate creaking floor boards, doorknobs slowly turning back and forth or the noise coming from the dimly lit basement with no windows and a single exit. Don’t checkout creepy noises outside – like a dog’s yelp cut off mid bark or rustling in the bushes outside your window and believe me you don’t want to go traipsing off into the woods, or searching for nearby meteor strikes. Just remember curiosity killed the cat, its owner, the mailman and anyone else that came to find out what was going on. Trust me, stay in your house/room/ bed under the covers, for as long as you can.

2. Don’t open any book, box, chest, coffin, jar, or anything that has been chained, nailed, welded or wax-sealed shut—especially if it’s been well hidden for a really long time and is REALLY DUSTY.

3. Stay away from stairs. Don’t go upstairs, don’t go downstairs, don’t look under the stairs and you might not want to go up to the attic or look under the bed either. You’ll also want to stay out of cornfields, rural farmhouses, cabins deep in the woods, abandoned insane asylums, graveyards and ancient burial grounds.

4. And you’ll definitely want to stay away from mazes, long halls with statues, red rooms and clowns - especially clowns holding balloons.

5. Stay away from windows. Zombies/ghouls/Frankenstein/dinosaurs, crash right through windows, so nix the plan that makes your house or the fashion mall the spot for making your last stand. Your best bet for survival is a large warehouse store like (COSTCO/SAM’S Club) which also offers the added bonus of free food samples.

6. Get a solar/hand crank emergency radio, flashlight and cell phone charger.
Radio - you can listen to news updates – believe me on Halloween you’ll want to know what’s going on around you. Situation Awareness! Flashlight – just in case there’s a blackout and/or you find yourself in a situation where you need to see - after all one can’t always count on the moon. Phone Charger – in the event you have to make repeated calls to an elite military unit for immediate rescue. BONUS: This will also be handy if there’s a flood, earthquake, or other emergency - talk about a handy device.

7. Understand Zombie Alerts. A “Zombie Watch” means: BE PREPARED - zombies have been sighted in and near the watch area. While a “Zombie Warning” means: TAKE ACTION NOW - Zombies will be breaking through your door/windows in the next five minutes.

8. Wear sensible/comfortable shoes. Believe me you don’t want to trip and fall on Halloween because zombies are born opportunists and if “The Walking Dead” has taught us anything it’s that zombies take advantage of slow runners and if you trip and fall, you’re pretty much the “special of the day”.

9. Transportation. If you’re traveling by yourself, you’ll definitely want a motorcycle. It’ll give you maneuverability and gets great gas mileage + your helmet adds an extra level of protection against those brain hungry zombies. Of course, if you’re with your family or some group, you’ll need something larger like a minivan or a bus - but you’ll still want to wear the helmet.

10. Travel light. You don’t want to carry a lot of stuff. If you can’t clip it to your belt or strap it to your back, leave it. There’s nothing worse than having too much baggage - of course as non-revs you already knew that.



BTW, please don’t hesitate to post your own Halloween tips, especially if you know how to get rid of colossal spider webs. Exterminators keep going down to the last house on the left……. but they never come back.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!