Hi riverliver,
If your former employer deemed your bag as security threat even a retired pilot (searched by the local authorities) because it's unaccompanied item and it wasn't originally tagged item... I would love to help you but knowing SIN authorities have some bad apples more than here at home, I'm scared of hearing a bad news at the US Customs upon arrival home.
Being a bit younger, my thought would be find local UA guys, paypal the money for the shipping cost via Boat and have them mail you what you really need and purge other items that are heavy such as backpack itself. Then the cost may come down even more via UPS or FedEX. I had packages shipped from this region via both UPS and FedEx nternational Priority or so called overnight, it wasn't that expensive for a few pound package and UPS and FedEx take care of the custom paperwork. 4-5 days and it will be on your door step.
if you can't make it all the way to SIN, may be ship it to NRT or other United's asian hub so your trip will be a lot shorter and less burden on your health. As your husband being a retired pilot, he gotta know someone in those routes to help you out in a part if they can't help you all the way. Just a thought...
Wish you GOOD LUCK!!!

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