IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman
asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I
didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't
working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to
compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've
recently been with some of these people....

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the
light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving
the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would
not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I
know - I already got that side."