Thread: Money saving tips for the airlines-Humor

Those are good but I've solved the whole security thing with two simple rules:

No carry on

Everyone flys nude

"Ten New Ways To Save The Airlines"
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
1-- Airport car washes
2-- Pop-a-shot contests
3-- Girl Scouts Cookies
4-- Yard Sales
5-- Permanent floating crap games
6-- Dunk-a-CEO
7-- Mini-baskets of cheer
8-- Inflight shines
9-- Protection
10- Tithing[/list]

Some good suggestions, but frankly I think my ideas (see above post) are sure money makers, although I will admit, #6, that "Dunk-a-CEO" idea, does sound interesting.

Keep'em flying

Northwest to charge more for prime coach seats

For an extra $15 Northwest pax can buy "prime seats" (exit row seats or aisle seats near the front) in coach... I'm wondering if there will be a discount for seats near the lavs?
On a serious note, what about the safety issue of siting in exit rows?
I can see the commotion at the gate now--Sir I realize you paid for the exit row, but do you really think you can be of much help in the event of an emergency with your leg and arm in casts?
Comments???

Keep'em flying

Warning!!!!! Possible April Fool's Day Prank


WestJet announced today that it will be launching a new program where guests can assist the airline in realizing fuel efficiencies.

“Our Blended Winglet Technology has allowed us to reap the benefits of improved fuel efficiency,” said Richard Bartrem, WestJet’s Director Brand and Communications. “Knowing this, we commissioned a number of studies to determine how this principle could be applied inside the aircraft with our guests. The results were conclusively positive; the combination of specific hand and arm positions of our guests has a direct impact on our fuel efficiency.”
“Beginning today, we ask that every guest aboard a WestJet aircraft assume the inflight winglet position upon takeoff,” says Bartrem. “This involves straightening the arms at a ninety-degree angle to the side of the body, holding the fingers together, and positioning the hand at a ninety-degree angle upward. For more information, visit westjet.com and click on the ‘Blended Winglets’ banner.”

The airline is confident the increased roominess of their Boeing Next-Generation 737 aircraft will ensure all guests are able to fully participate in this cost-saving measure.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Keep'em flying

Still more money saving tips for the airlines-

Thought you might get a kick out of this You Tube link
Remember
"Lavatories are located at the front and the rear of the airport"

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Chris @ Aug 9 2003, 08:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Those are good but I&#39;ve solved the whole security thing with two simple rules:

No carry on

Everyone flys nude

[/b]

(horrible images in my brain...)
but pax will have to pay for a barf bag!!!

Tough times unfortunately mean tough measures -
Airlines to initiate new fees

AA- "According to company officials, these charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline, as well as a mandatory $30 surcharge for passengers who decide to just stay home for the holidays"

"Arpey said that non-passengers of AA should expect to pay a small fee when making Greyhound bus resevations, choosing to drive to their final destination, or simply being a citizen fo the US with a valid Social Security number."

In response "United this week unvield a new $99 "spend the weekend quietly reading indoors" offer, while Southwest is introducing a $125 round-trip for those walking to their corner store for some groceries."

JetBlue has deicided not to charge non-passeners not to fly.

For more info on these new fees please read the ONION - America&#39;s finest news source