Things I've Learned from TV

**Migflanker** · 24-Jun-2006, 10:34 AM

In the spirit of what I've learned from the movies--here's what I've learned from TV.
This list is the result of my many years of watching murder, mayhem and all kind of things blowing up on TV. Comments are welcome

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>

Black cars and sunglasses = BAD NEWS!
--24, Alias

Anything, and I do mean anything, can be hidden in a cell phone-- and in a related note- agent's cell phone batteries last 1000 hours at least.

--24, Alias

A good bottle of wine always contains a radioactive isotope or some bizarre medication
-- 24

Spy satellites can see absolutely everything that happens everywhere--except when it's more dramatic for them NOT to see something, such as right before a commercial
--24

Any picture, from any source- (including security cameras) has great resolution, color and can be enlarged infinitely.
--CSI, CSI:NY, CSI:Miami, Numbers

If your hobby is solving mysteries you will have ample opporutnity to do so as murders will occur wherever you go.
--Monk, Murder She Wrote

Never get on an elevator with a pregnant woman, because... well you know

--numerous sitcoms

Everyone has a wacky next-door neighbor
--any sitcom

A large proportion of space aliens have British accents
--Dr Who, Star Trek

There simply is no limit to the number of things one can do with a tricorder
--Star Trek... all 2,000 of them

No wedding ever goes off without a hitch
--any soap opera

You can have a prince fall in love with you and want to marry you, despite the fact that you are a single mom and former stripper
--any soap opera

Everything falls faster than an anvil
--Roadrunner cartoons

Mice can save the world
--Mickey Mouse, Mighty Mouse, Pinky and the Brain

Never let a friend drive your car, especially if they don't have a valid license
--Judge Judy

Austraila consists of Sydney, a large red rock, three beaches, vast areas of desert and lots and lots of yellow road signs with kangaroos on them

Britain consists of urban areas, no farm land and it rains all the time

--British Comedies on American TV

The only city in Oklahoma is Oklahoma City, the rest of the state is small towns or farms.
--the Weather Channel

Amnesia is commonplace
--House, Grey's Anatomy

Drunk people are hilarious and a lot of them end up at LAX-T1, trying to board a plane to Vegas
--Airline-Southwest

Getting a confession from a criminal is as easy as just shouting "you did it" at them for at while
--Law & Order, Law & Order:Special Victims Unit, Law & Order:Criminal Intent

Never split up ever!!!!!
[/list]

Edited because one should never try to post and talk on the phone at the same time.

Keep'em flying

**Migflanker** · 01-Sep-2006, 10:02 AM

Still more things I learned from TV

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There is always someone in the canal or storm drain when the flood hits.

During a very emotional confrontation instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

ACME products (Road runner cartoons) has a never ending supply of defective products.

The more people there are firing at you, the less likely they are to hit you.

Children grow up fast -they can go from newborn to kindergarten in one TV season.

A monster can always sneak up on you, no matter how big or clumsy it is.

A leap from a hotel roof is completely safe as long as you can land in the pool.

If a gas station and a man with a gun appear in the same scene, before the scene ends the gas station with explode. The same is true of fuel drums.

No ship, base, or compound ever as more than one emergency radio.

By the 24th century the concepts of circuit breakers, fuses and uninterruptable power supplies will have been lost --All sci-fi series

Even the best mastermind will be stuck with inept henchmen

Never go to a masked ball. Because at midnight with everybody removes their masks one of the partiers will be an evil madman/death, and you'll be in some serious trouble.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers, and man made eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

Light level is not a relable gauge of whether is's night outside. You have to judge by the cricket noises.

There are always people carrying around large sheets of glass on the street during a car chase.

When the power plant/missle site whatever overheats, all the control panel will explode as will the entire building--BOOM!

City crime labs have so little backlog that DNA tests can be ordered and delivered before the detectives even change shifts--CSI, CSI-Miami, CSI New York

If there's a maniac on the loose, it's the perfect time to just relax and run a bubble bath.
and in the same vein
When being chased around the house by a knife wielding mania always, run upstairs and never take the more logical step of running outside.

When superheroes (like Batman) use high tech weapons to protect themselves, the bad guys never take advantange of obvious weaknesses, such as oooooo, no face protection.

[/list]

Hope this brought a smile

Keep'em flying

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