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Thread: The Airlines Respond (Humor)


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  1. 18-Aug-2002, 08:35 PM #1
    Migflanker
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    Why did the chicken cross the road? Here's what the airlines have to say about it
    <UL TYPE=SQUARE>
    Air Canada-- Common Sense

    Air France-- Because it wanted to see Paris

    Alaska Air-- What road? Only snow

    America West--It had a plan

    American-- There was more room in coach.
    It was de-peaking its hub

    Ansett-- It was inevitability,
    once the fox decided to
    raid the chicken coop

    Braniff-- Because when you got it, flaunt it

    British Air-- Because she fell in love with a
    "Beefeater"

    Continental-- The news of its crossing has been
    greatly exaggerated
    Continental (pre 1983)--
    Because it was a proud bird with a
    golden tail

    Delta-- Because chickens love to cross
    roads and it shows

    Eastern-- Our message to chickens
    everywhere is simple,
    "Welcome to the barbecue"

    Jet Blue-- To see the free TV

    Northwest-- Because some chickens just know how
    to walk, run and fly.

    Pan Am-- In our day, we didn't ask why the
    chicken crossed the road. Someone
    told us that the chicken crossed
    the road, and that was good enough
    for us. A chicken was a chicken.
    It crossed the road because that
    worked to get her to the other side

    Qantas-- The chicken wasn't crossing the
    road, it was doing the recommended
    in-flight workout exercises

    Southwest-- Because it had a 22 minute turn-
    around

    TWA-- There was no alternative

    United-- Because the way forward is
    sometimes the way back. It may
    not seem like the chicken was
    going anywhere by crossing the
    road, when in fact, it was

    US Air-- The question is not, "Why did the
    chicken cross the road?" But
    rather, "Why it takes 27 vice
    presidents to plan the chicken's
    route?"[/list]

    Groucho Marx Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

    Hope this brought a smile [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    Keep'em flying




    [This message was edited by Migflanker on August 19, 2002 at 12:45 AM.]
    Keep'em Flying

    Migflanker - Senior NonRev Correspondent - Los Angeles
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  • 19-Aug-2002, 05:27 AM #2
    randyrandy
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    Thanks for the laugh, I'd never seen those before. Here's mine, not at all related to the industry. I posted them on the old forum a long time ago from a joke list I once belonged to.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road!" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

    RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

    BILL CLINTON: We categorically deny the chicken did cross the road and any allegations to the contrary by the right-wing extremeists should be postponed until I am out of office.

    JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

    FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

    BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

    OLIVER STONE: The question is not Why did the chicken cross the road? Rather, it is, Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?

    LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down!

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

    EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

    BUDDHA: Asking this questions denies your own chicken nature. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img]

    RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]


    Randy - Nonrev Correspondent Chicago
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