California Driving Rules
For those of you who may be driving through this summer
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1. Turn signals are a sign of weakness and will give away your driving strategy. A real California driver never uses then.

2. Similarly, never, attempt to give hand signals. California drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are waving them on to pass you.

3. The yellow light is not, as commonly supposed outside of California, a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get through the intersection before the light turns red.

4. In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of surprise. That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other drivers.

5. Under no cicumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you or the space will be filled in by someone else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

6. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

7. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it, and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

8. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same idiots to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels. Bonus points are awarded for getting out of your car and moving the barrels.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a California driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. When in doubt, accelerate.

11. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

12. Remember that the goal of every California driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

Above all, keep moving. [/list]

And good luck, You'll need it.


Keep'em flying