Still more Halloween survival tips, because, well..... you know


Never open any box, coffin, crate, or anything that has been chained, nailed, welded or wax-sealed shut---especially if it's been well hidden for a real----ly long time.


Be wary around mirrors. I don't care how great your Halloween costume looks, do not linger long in front of the looking glass. Just take a quick look and be gone. And for goodness sake, and I cannot emphasize this point enough *hey I even underlined it* never utter the words Bloody Mary five times in a mirror because a woman dead for centuries will burst from the mirror and cleaning up slivers off the bathroom floor will be the least of your worries.

Remember quaint corn ceremonies are never really about corn.

If your little brother gets hysterical and tells you he saw a shrouded figure across the street carrying a lifeless women in his arms; believe him and fetch a bazooka, because that guy across the street won't go down easy.

If for some reason you find yourself in a hospital where only one person seems to be working and most of the patents' rooms are empty, better to check yourself out and take your chances on the street with a box of band-aids and a bottle of aspirin.

Never taunt the ax-wielding maniac. It never ends well.

Wax museums are always a bad idea and should be totally avoided after midnight.

If pets come back from the dead, lock your doors and windows and call animal control immediately.

Resist the urge to pick up a hitchhiker or stop to aid a suspicious person, especially if he/she/it resembles Santa Claus, is wearing a hockey mask or is carrying a chainsaw.

and finally

If the living dead/zombies are outside and the windows are boarded up, don't go near the windows. Carpentry skills and reliable buiding materials aren't what they used to be.

Remember it's Halloween, be careful out there.